Saturday, May 19, 2018

My first son's birth

I often joked that running a marathon is possible, training helps, but really I just need to know there is no time limit. This is the birth of my first son, an experience that taught me I can handle any endurance challenge(as long as there isn't a cut off time). Tomorrow I find out if I was right about my joke, though I think there is a cut off time.

This has all the gory details and I've changed the names of people to their role in the birth. You have been warned.

Quote: "just give it an hour, you can do anything for an hour, give it an hour and if things don’t improve then we look at other stuff. ... (friends) can support you but you are the one that will have to dig deep into your resources to make this happen"

Summary in case you don't want to read a graphic birth story: 42 hour back labor with no epidural, super intense for the last 2 hours to avoid pitocin, vaginal delivery.



The story as written 4 years ago and minimally edited.

At my 36 week prenatal appointment, the OB failed bedside manner to the point that I was in tears.  He did everything he could to physically put me in a submissive position, while talking about how they would need to “control” the delivery.  My innate finally screamed loud enough for me to listen and I called my husband saying I’d rather deliver in our mini-van than with that doctor.  That was Wednesday morning.  I went over a friends house for lunch and she held my hand as I called the practice that did waterbirth and scheduled my appointment with them.  She also helped keep me together emotionally as I was not in good shape after that appointment.  Wednesday afternoon I picked up my medical records and Thursday morning I met my Midwife for the first time.  Due to being nearly 37 weeks, we went to a water birthing class at a different hospital Thursday night.

At the end of class I felt a small gush that was similar to when my period would start.  At home I noticed it was clear fluid and I had defiantly not peed myself.  By the time we got home I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly.  I woke up about 2 hours later starving!  Got something to eat, drink and poked at computer.  Realized I was feeling crampy like pains.   Went back to bed, could not sleep.  Got up again to pee.   I’d soaked another pad, I checked not pee, it was clear and smelled like vagina.   I once again went back to bed.  Still couldn’t sleep, but I tried.  I opted to skip school that day as cramping had gotten more rhythmic and clear fluid was now pinkish.  As the cramping got more often, every 10 mins or so, I wondered if I had broken my water and just had a slow leak.  I called the midwife to see if I could come in and have it checked.

The cramping continued and got worse, I suspected this was it, Alex had gone into work to try and wrap things up with the intent to head home if this wasn’t a false alarm.  I drove to a friends house, where her husband drove me into the chiropractors office to get adjusted.  Fluid continued to drain, cramps started to last longer, starting from 5sec long around 5 am to I’d say 15-25 secs long around noon.  Alex met me at the chiropractors office and took me up to see the midwife.  The midwife took one look and told me my water hadn’t broken, but that I needed to do anything I could to get some sleep.  Her body language said I’ll be in labor in the next 2 days, but her words said it was normal late pregnancy pain and I should get some sleep.

We headed home.   I was slightly bummed it wasn’t labor and slightly relieved.  To have a water birth you need to be at 37 weeks.  I was 36 weeks and 6 days.  When we got home I tried to eat a bit more, then took some Tylenol(midwife's suggestion) and went to sleep for a few hours, being woken up by the cramps.  By 9pm on Friday the cramps were lasting about 30 seconds and were 3-5 minutes apart.  We had put on movies and such anything to try and distract me.  Nothing really worked.  By 10 pm I called the midwife, asking if it was ok to take more Tylenol or if I could get something to help me sleep a little bit, heck maybe stop the not-labor labor.  She told us to head to hospital and they would give me something to take and then we’ll go back home to sleep.

We packed up the car on the off chance that we were not heading back home and headed off on a 1 hr drive to a hospital we had never been to before. The ride was unpleasant with the cramps but uneventful, aside from watching a 70 car train travel by as we were stopped.  Once we got there, I got settled into a bunk in the triage area, while they figured out what to do.  Alex had to fill out a bunch of paperwork as our pre-reg wasn’t in the system.  They confirmed that the cramps were contractions and discovered I was already 2cm dilated and fully thinned out, meaning I was actually in labor.  At that point I was minutes away from the magic 37 week line I needed to cross to have a water birth.

Leaving the monitors on me, they gave me a shot in the butt for pain, sleep and nausea.  I was to nap for an hour before they were going to send me home.  An hour or so later, they told me they were going let me sleep another hour and then send us home.  Alex drank some coffee and promptly fell asleep in a chair.  Some where in all of this I contacted our Doula  about what was going on as she was 2.5 hours away.  She started her trek in our direction.  After my 3 hour nap I was checked again.  4cm.   Nurse called my midwife to see what we should do.  Normally you are not admitted at that point if you want an unmedicated natural birth but considering how far we lived away, they decided to admit us anyway.  Sometime after this decision and before I was moved to my room, Alex left me alone for 20 minutes to finish up the paperwork and Doula arrived.  I was also informed by the nurse I was dehydrated and needed to drink 3 large cups of water plus finish my bottle in the next 30 minutes.

I know I labored through the night.  I don’t really remember much of it only that Doula took over and let Alex nap for an hour or two.  I do know I got over being pee shy real quick as in, I need to pee and I need help.

The midwife came in to check on me sometime around mid morning and I had hit the magic zone of 5-6 cms which is what was needed to get into the tub.  I labored outside tub for a bit while it was filled and readied.  Over the next several hours I got in and out of the tub to labor.  I know I fell asleep in the tub and at some point Doula pulled my hair back.  I was also having horrible back labor.  I kept needing someone to rub one side of my back the entire time.  I remember thinking I wanted someone to do the counter pressure thing we learned in Bradley class but at this point I wasn’t able to ask for anything or communicate well.  Sometime around 1pm, the midwife checked again at my request and I was at 8cm, but my contractions were getting further apart.  The midwife had me get out of the tub to try some other positions as we had confirmed, Hal was sunny side up(head facing the opposite direction than it should, while still facing down).  My labor started to take breaks.  I curled up on the bed and fell asleep, woke up and requested the monitoring be removed as I wanted to move around, did lunges, rocking on all fours, sitting on the yoga ball, nothing really helped the pain.  The midwife sent the 3 of us on a 30 minute walk down the hallway.  After all that I was still at 8 cm.

Nothing had changed.  It was time to sit down and talk.  I wasn’t progressing but I had options.  The choice the midwife gave us was 1) go for a serious walk, large steps, not the walking like my knees were bound together. Or 2) we break my water and see if that helps move things along.  It would intensify the contractions and might even help increase dilation quickly.  She said yes while there were other options, I knew what they were and we could discuss those later.  Then she left the 3 of us in the room to talk.  I remember phasing in and out of the conversation.  It was strange I was there I was watching but I had a lot of difficulty communicating.  I knew I couldn’t walk, but was I willing to try the water breaking.  I was completely terrified of the contractions getting worse.  Doula told me I’d already seen them as bad as they can be, the only difference was I wasn’t going to get a break anymore, we needed them one right after another.   She said, just give it an hour, you can do anything for an hour, give it an hour and if things don’t improve then we look at other stuff.  I also knew without a doubt the decision was mine and mine alone.  Alex and Doula could support me but I was the one that would have to dig deep into my resources to make this happen.

I asked for the midwife back.  When the midwife returned, I told her I wanted her to break my water, I would give it a try for an hour or two and then go from there.  Alex went to the bathroom to change into his bathing suit so he could join me in the tub.  The midwife got me situated on the bed and then tried to break my water with her finger, nope, then used the long crochet hook devise.  Once that happened, my sons’s head slid down and hit my cervix, we got another centimeter dilation right then.  Back to the pool we went before the contractions started.  Alex supporting me from behind, Doula in front.  As soon as a contraction started I’d drop to all fours or on my knees with Alex rubbing my back.  Doula encouraging me and reminding me to relax my muscles.  Once the contraction ended, I got two breathes then Doula told me to stand back up, we locked arms and then I went down into a squat and bounced until we triggered another one.  That was hard, and I don’t think Alex could have pushed me like that, but it was good she could.  She reminded me that what we needed to get this baby out was for the contractions to be rapid fire no resting.  I have no idea how many times we did this, I think I was told not very long before I started pushing.  After pushing for a bit they needed to use the fish net to get the poop that had escaped.  Any other time I’d be disgusted with myself for pooping in front of others in a pool none the less, but at that point, all I could think was “Progress, I’m pushing in the right spot” .  The pushing continued for an unknown amount of time before the mid-wife wanted me out of the pool for two reasons, 1) there were more things she can do on the bed to assist, and 2) they wanted to change out some of the water and get it warmer(babies need to exit into body temp water).

Once on the bed I was pushing on my back or side alternating, holding onto behind my legs with Doula, Alex and nurses helping push back my legs.  The midwife had to reach up and start pushing the edge of my cervix back around Hal’s head and since he was now leaving sideways we alternated positions to corkscrew his shoulders through my pelvis.  They were stuck on my pubic symphsis and coccyx.  Finally he could start the end of his decent.  He started crowning, I could feel and see his hair.  10 minutes before he was out, Nice nurse was going off shift and Cranky older Nurse arrived.  She heard I’d been pushing for 2 hours and immediately started questioning my midwife.  While I couldn’t say anything, all I could think was “who the hell are you?  You’re not part of this go away”.   They had brought in a mirror so I could watch, I kept pushing, Finally I heard “do you want a picture of the crowning?”  “no” “keep pushing”.

My son came out running his nose up my right thigh and promptly pooped up my left one.  As soon as he was out he started screaming, no need for any suctioning at all.  He was placed on my belly and wrapped in a towel.  All ours.  I said oh wait lets see the gender, Cranky older nurse went to grab for the towel. I hit her and I told her no it was for Alex and I to see.  We pulled back looked in: Alex said “All I see is umbilical cord” I said “it’s a boy!” I was so happy.  I kept trying to pull him up a bit higher to snuggle my messy and beautiful son.  Alex started crying.  We announced his name because it totally fits him.  The cord stopped pulsing and Alex got to cut it.  My son was free.

Hindsight being what it is, I am certain that if I had not transferred away from the previous practice I would have ended up with at least pitocin to "speed things up" and possibly a c-section do to "failure to progress" or as I've heard "the doctors failure to wait".

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